Katie Price: ‘I wish he’d go before me’

The 42-year-old star opened up about her pain during an emotional appearance on British chat show Steph’s Packed Lunch this week.She said: “Sometimes I wish that he would go before me because he wouldn’t be able to cope if I wasn’t there.“I know that’s harsh to say but I know a lot of people in my situation would feel the same.“Obviously I don’t want him to go but he so relies on me in every way and our communication. If I’d gone he wouldn’t understand where I’d gone.”

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Harvey was born with the rare disorder septo-optic dysplasia, which affects brain function, hormones and vision, plus autism.“He’s on medication for his behaviour, medication to keep him alive and obviously he’s registered blind,” she said. “But I love him so much, and what people have to remember is that he doesn’t know any different.

“The main thing for me is his weight. He’s 29 stone (184kg), he was in intensive care last year, and at one point I thought I was going to lose him, because of his weight and heart.“Not everything is doom and gloom. He’s fantastic, brilliant banter, personality, and obviously I’ve done this BBC documentary.”The pair are appearing together in a new BBC documentary called Katie Price: Harvey And Me.

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“I think he’s the right age and I want to show other families the next step of him being an adult, trying to find a college for him.”Katie revealed earlier that she worried Harvey would never be able to walk alone down a street because of what might happen to him.She told magazine New: “What scares me is that if he walked past somebody and said, ‘Hello you d**khead.’“He does that because he thinks it’s funny, someone could take that the wrong way in the street.“He could get punched and he would cower. That breaks my heart. He needs 24-hour care but he can still have an independent life.“After college he’s definitely coming home to me, without a doubt.”

Price earlier spoke about making the heart-wrenching decision to put Harvey into care.The 18-year-old will live in a residential college in a move to teach him how to have a more independent life and learn new skills.Katie told The Sun: “It breaks my heart. I don’t want him to think I’m just getting rid of him.”The TV star has raised disabled Harvey mostly as a single mother.Admitting it is too painful to think about breaking their incredible bond, Katie said the move gives him the best chance to forge an independent life.The pair have spent six months visiting colleges for children with autism and learning disabilities. They hope Harvey can start at their top choice later this year.Mum-of-five Katie said: “It’s so upsetting to think I won’t see him every day but this is the best thing for Harvey and we have to think positively because I don’t want him to think I’m just getting rid of him.“This is his chance to live an independent life, learn skills and socialise with people other than me.
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“I’m trying to get him used to me not being there all the time. But he’ll call on his iPad and say, ‘Mum, I need you,’ and I run to him.“When he’s three hours away it will break my heart because I won’t be able to get there as I’ve got to juggle him with my other kids.“When he goes to college he will learn to be an adult. He says now, ‘Mummy, I’m not a boy, I’m a man.’“The other kids are excited for him – they want to see what he can do. But I think they’ll find it hard when he’s not around on weekends.“I need to learn to let go but it’s tough – anyone in my position knows how hard it is.“We have an incredible bond. I don’t know how Harvey will react or how he’ll feel when I can’t get to him. It’s too painful to think about.”
This story originally appeared on The Sun and is republished here with permission

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