Still dealing with her grief, Gudinski has used the latest episode of her podcast Talking in Common to reveal details of the shock death of the music industry icon on March 2.Talking to her friend and co-host Sophie Panton, Gudinski said there was no sign her father had any health issues.“He was completely fine,” Gudinski said. “There were no warning signs, he wasn’t unwell. The day before it happened he was busy working. Mum said he went to bed happy that night and he never woke up.”Gudinski, who spoke to her father a “minimum two times a day”, also spoke about getting the early morning phone call from her mother to inform her of her father’s death.“I knew when the phone was ringing that something wasn’t right. I’ll never forget hearing my mum on the other end of the phone, I knew straight away that he had passed away. Physically I was screaming, I was hysterical, I was inconsolable initially.”The podcaster also talked about spending time with her father after his passing, after initially heading to the family home thinking he was still alive.“I was trying to convince myself in my mind that he hadn’t actually passed away, that they’d made a mistake, that he was fine. I guess I just had to sit there and talk to him and be with him for his last few hours being in our family home.“It was nice to be able to have that time with him, not that I felt that I got to say goodbye but to see him for one last time. That’s obviously not the way you want to remember someone, but he did look peaceful.”As well as discussing about “self-medicating” with wine and sleeping tablets early on, Gudinski said her grief has gone through stages.“That first day there was a lot of crying, then my body went into complete shock, I had uncontrollable shakes. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t focus, I felt completely out of control of my body. Then I had this constant worry and guilt that I wasn’t at home with my kids, I was going home to stay the night but I was at my mum’s house being with her and my brother. “But also I didn’t want my young kids to be with us there, everyone they know and love was in such distress dealing with this shock. I didn’t want them to be exposed to that and to me being so gutted and heartbroken.“I definitely had a period where I felt incredibly angry. I’m not angry at him, it’s not like he had a choice, but you go through those feelings of how you could do this? How you could you leave? You’ve abandoned us, you’ve left. “Then feelings of being angry, why him? He’s still young, he was looking after himself, why is it his turn to go? There was about a week where I literally felt completely numb. I didn’t cry, which was strange, I felt constantly flat. I was so numb and withdrawn from everything.“Anxiety is something that has affected me quite a lot in the past, I’ve always had a real fear about death, especially losing someone close to you. So when this actually happened to me, it sent my mind into this complete freak out.”Gudinski also visited a psychic medium – who knew “very personal, very specific” details about her father “she could not have found anywhere.”“Some pretty confronting things came up as well. I don’t know what I got from it yet, I’m still trying to focus it, but I did have a positive experience. I did feel like I got a little bit of connection out of it.”As well as seeing a psychologist, Gudinski says she has started meditation and exercise to help with her grief and is discussing the loss with her children.“While I know with time I will be able to deal with my feelings better, the one thing for me personally that’s going to be the hardest is really coming to terms with the fact I will never be able to see or speak to my father again.”NAT – Stay Informed – Social Media
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