Heartbreaking diary entries from lockdown

Under strict stay-at-home orders, already lonely older Australians were frequently driven to tears and feelings of hopelessness, a Monash University study has reported. The analysis is based on diaries completed by 32 older adults during the taxing lockdowns in Victoria in mid-late 2020, with participants recording and sharing their perceptions and experiences twice daily.Lead researcher, Monash University’s Dr Barbara Barbosa Neves, said lockdowns exacerbated loneliness, presented new triggers and up-ended their usual coping strategies. “Diary entries mentioned frequent crying, distress, sadness and anguish, with many reporting feeling devalued, unimportant and purposeless,” Dr Barbosa Neves said.“Their close relationships were affected and previous coping mechanisms such as volunteering or going on outings were discontinued.”Some participants reported passive suicidal ideation and withdrawing from life, with most blaming themselves for not being more interesting, more proactive in building relationships or for being introverted or lazy.Many reported severe loneliness which lasted the entire day rather than moments, as it had previously, which was accompanied by the feeling of confinement and imprisonment.All 32 of the 69-to-96 year-olds questioned preferred to endure their loneliness in silence as they did not want to burden their families and communities. Six were based in regional Victoria, which was under slightly looser restrictions than metropolitan Melbourne at the time.Some took to using digital technologies to maintain social connections with loved ones, but several found the experience shallow, reporting that it added to a sense of disconnection. Others were unwilling to use digital technology, while some felt intimidated by it and struggled with no assistance, especially those who had not learned to use it. “The social stigma of acknowledging loneliness tangled with the stigma of being old, and in many cases, frail, was akin to personal failure for some participants,” Dr Barbosa Neves said. “They struggled with a compromised sense of personhood and identity.”