School choice is going once, going twice…gone.
Parody of John Michael Montgomery’s “Sold (The Grundy County Auction Incident),” written and performed by Remy.
LYRICS:
Well, I went down to the Grundy County School Board
cause I had questions I just had to ask
Our recent graduates we wish they knew more
So I figured I’d ask questions about that
But they said…
Hey little matey, what you think of this sign?
I’d give anything to add some DEI
We got too many Asian kids, can’t we send some home?
Well I’ve never seen anyone looking so white
Man we gotta have a day off for “Diwali“
I’ll show you learning’s what we here uphold—
Little girl, what is 2 plus 4?
Maybe 8? Maybe 9? Maybe 10?
Oh no…
We got twenty pronouns, half days, no Thais
Well I’m about to bid my chart goodbye…
Well the school board folks were going about a mile a minute
They were brainstorming and yelling things out loud
And though parents there were really getting in it
They just shouted out above the crowd
And they said…
Hey pretty lady can I hide your awards?
Let’s stock this book that is technically porn
This board room isn’t on our ancestral home
Well I’ve never seen anyone’s pay go so high
Do you want a new name from your parents we’ll hide?
I’m switching schools…You can’t—with us you’re zoned
How many laptops to give 5-year-olds?
Maybe 8? Maybe 9? Maybe 10?
Oh no…
We’ll take Marchteenth, Mayteenth, Juneteenth, Eid
Ah, what the heck, bid the month goodbye
Well things got all political
They seem to more these days
Maybe math class should be for math
Your heart is full of hate!
And they said…
Hey, county students can you solve for x…
…istential racism cuz we’re having a test
Maybe list more things they should be anxious about!
Sure it’s been two hundred years but those poor Comanches
Is this a school or depression factory?
I still can’t switch? You can’t—with us you’re zoned.
How many bathrooms should we build here, Joe?
Maybe 8? No, it’s 9. How about 10, bigot!
We got 40 days off, three masks, this guy
I’m about to bid this town goodbye…
Producer: Austin Braggproducer: John Carter
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