I’m 90 years old, and thanks to the Trump administration, I’ll be spending Christmas alone

• Grandparents are spending their last moments in life without loved ones, because leaders failed to get COVID-19 under control.
• Leaders have given up, and are willing to sacrifice our elderly and most vulnerable.
• We need a unified, national plan to fight COVID-19.
• Cynthia Lay is a retired higher education administrator.
• This is an opinion column. The thoughts expressed are those of the author.
• Visit Business Insider’s homepage for more stories.

I turn 90 years old in December, and I’ll likely spend my birthday alone. I thought if I ever made it to this age, I’d surround myself with those I love. Every year, I celebrate my birthday and Christmas with my sons, my grandchildren, and extended family. They come from all different states. But COVID-19 will likely peak again then. Because our leaders have failed us, we still don’t have a national plan. All of our states have different protocols, and it’s not safe for my family to travel to see me. I’m sad, but mostly I’m angry that it’s gotten this bad. 

The existence of the virus isn’t President Trump’s fault, but he failed to get it under control. Just last week, his chief of staff said, “we’re not going to control the pandemic.” They’ve given up. We’re now seeing the highest cases in America since the start of the pandemic. 

For months, I’ve been tucked away in my Blue Hill assisted living community, quarantining in my apartment. Every day I’ve read about our Republican senator, Susan Collins, and her constant complicity with President Trump. She nodded along from the very beginning of this pandemic, when President Trump told us this would be gone in a couple of weeks. I remember thinking I was lucky that I had a birthday at the end of the year, because I thought things would be better by now. 

In the spring, Democrats in the House passed the HEROES Act. That money could have provided funding for a national testing plan, for schools to stay safe, for first responders, and much more to prepare us for this winter. This virus doesn’t stop at state lines, so fighting it cannot happen unless all states have funds and a unified plan. Sen. Collins is supposed to represent us, yet when Sen. Mitch McConnell refused to move the bill forward in the Senate, Sen. Collins said nothing. States around the US saw record hospitalizations, and were desperate for funding. Thanks to the Republicans, they got no help. 

The way I see it, the Republican Party’s plan is to give up and pretend the virus will go away by itself. Now that almost 225,000 Americans have died from COVID-19, leaders are becoming more open to the terrifying idea of herd immunity. That means letting the virus wipe out our most vulnerable, including 90-year-olds like me. Scientists say almost 2.3 million Americans would die. Our leaders think lives like mine do not matter; that I am expendable. Sen. Collins is still doing nothing about it. 

As long as this virus continues, I can’t go anywhere. For good reason, of course. If I get this thing, it would kill me, and if anyone in my residential community gets it, it would probably kill them. I can go for drives, but I’m not allowed to get out of the car. I can walk on the grounds, but nowhere beyond that.

When I watch President Trump hold his maskless rallies, I think about how much I want to hug my granddaughter. When he gathers our nation’s top leaders maskless on the White House lawn, I wonder how much longer I’ll have to wait to kiss my sons again. When Sen. Collins has in-person lunches with GOP leaders, I think about when I will get to choose my own papayas from the store again.  

We are grandmothers, mothers, neighbors, and friends. Our lives are not worth any less because we’re older. This is no way to live my last years of life. The faster we can come together as a country to get this thing under control, the sooner we can embrace our family and freedom again. We deserve leaders who recognize that and will make it happen.

Cynthia Lay resides in Blue Hill, ME. She has a great love for people, art, and her beautiful cat, Sasha. She’s made hundreds of paintings and photography over the years, which have been showcased in galleries, holiday cards, and art competitions. Her family and friends are the most important parts of her life, and she makes sure to talk with them every single day on the phone.