Diana, Princess of Wales died aged just 36 years old, some 24 years ago last month. And now her youngest son has grown into a man and lived longer than her tragically short life. It’s something that troubled Harry can’t fail to reflect upon, especially as a father of two and living the life his mother reportedly dreamed of.Anyone who has experienced grief knows the milestones are the hardest – the birthdays, marriages, babies, celebrations that the loved-one misses. And when it’s a parent who has passed away, you know how much each occasion would have meant to them. If your parent died at a young age, it inevitably means at some point, your life path continues further than they trod, making you feel even more alone.“When we hit that milestone, we are faced with our own mortality. It’s a deeply emotional and visceral response,” says trauma therapist Olivia James. “We can feel it’s our turn next, it sounds irrational, but it almost feels disloyal to survive past this point. We also worry about our loved ones, and what would happen to them if we didn’t survive.”Harry has referenced his mother increasingly throughout his transition out of the Royal Family.On his Archewell website, he uses a photo of himself and his mum, writing, “I am my mother’s son” adding, “we have experienced compassion and kindness, from our mothers and strangers alike”.In July, at the unveiling of the statue of Diana to mark her 60th birthday, he and Prince William stated: “We remember her love, strength and character — qualities that made her a force for good around the world, changing countless lives for the better. Every day, we wish she were still with us, and our hope is that this statue will be seen forever as a symbol of her life and her legacy.”Her legacy is something Harry is living by – certainly he has found the freedom his mother so craved. Diana adored the US, she chose New York to auction her dresses for charity shortly before she died in 1997 and according to Paul Burrell, had plans to move there.Her ex-butler told Good Morning America Diana was looking at “a magnificent mansion” in Malibu. He claims she said: “This is our new life, just won’t it be great, think of the lifestyle, the boys – nobody’s judgmental here in America, you don’t have the class system, you don’t have the establishment.”She also aimed to forge a career out of kindness – calling herself “the queen of people’s hearts” and winning a Humanitarian of the Year award in 1995 — and Harry has modelled his foundation on the same aim.Archewell’s mission statement is “Compassion in Action”.Diana was excited about making a series of documentaries before she died and Harry sealed a deal for the same thing with Netflix and Spotify.Likewise, Harry is emulating Diana’s struggles within and without The Firm – something that is currently being replayed on-screen, from The Crown’s searing Season Four with Emma Corrin portraying the young princess, upcoming Season Five with Elizabeth Debicki taking Diana through further turmoil and Kristen Stewart’s acclaimed performance in Spencer which The Hollywood Reporter described as a “chillingly compelling” presentation of the Royal Family as “a sinister body corporate, ready to inflict wounds and ice out any interloper who tarnishes their brand”.Daily Telegraph – News Feed latest episodeWhile authors Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand maintain Harry is unhappy with his family’s reaction to his racism revelations on Oprah, writing he felt “full ownership” was not taken, in the updated chapters of their biography Finding Freedom, he also faces another seismic year with his relations.What will be in his much-publicised autobiography due out next year? Will he finally reveal which relative allegedly made the racist remark to him about Archie’s skin colour? Will he open more old wounds? And how will this affect his already fractured relationship with Prince Charles, William and the Queen?“The writing process may be cathartic but the inevitable backlash will have him feeling more beleaguered and entrenched,” says Olivia, The Harley Street Coach.“Trauma survivors who have had their feelings and experiences invalidated can get very defiant about ‘speaking their truth’.” She says Harry can’t really win.“He wants privacy, to defend himself, his wife and children and also to destigmatise mental-health issues. In addition, he wants to honour his late mother, tell her story and protect her legacy,” she says. “But of course, he is laying himself open to attack. There will be questions about his motivations, his loyalty to the Royal Family and even his integrity and this will cause more hurt.”According to The Sun newspaper, Harry has requested a meeting with the Queen, in order to introduce her to her great-granddaughter and namesake Lilibet. There is also conjecture over whether Harry and Meghan will be invited to the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations next June, but it seems unlikely the monarch would leave them out.And despite the Royal Family currently facing another crisis as Prince Charles’ aide Michael Fawcett steps down amidst cash-for-honours allegations, Harry and Meghan’s popularity continues to fall in the UK.According to a YouGov poll this week, positive opinion of Harry decreased from 43 per cent in April to 34 per cent and positive opinion of Meghan declined from 29 per cent in April to 26 per cent. It’s hoped Harry can use this milestone to begin to look forward, instead of going over past hurt, even if it is cathartic. “Traumatised people often struggle with boundaries,” says Olivia. “There’s a fine line between vulnerability and oversharing. When I help survivors tell their stories, I quote the line, ‘Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood’.“When someone has achieved true post-traumatic growth, there is a sense of ‘this happened to me but doesn’t define me’. I hope Harry gets there soon.”NAT – Stay Informed – Social Media
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