The pop star performed hours after revealing she was “overwhelmed with sadness” after losing a baby she “decided to have on her own,” The Sun reports.During the gig at The Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles, Jessie said: “I decided to have a baby by myself and by a miracle it worked for a little while and yesterday was f**king s**t. This year has been hands down the hardest year that I’ve ever had to go through.“In December last year I lost my hearing, I got diagnosed with Menieres. Then I lost my voice which was f**king awful. Then I lost my baby. I know I’m going to be OK because there is really nothing else to choose in the way I live.“I’ve never felt more alone than I have felt in the past week.”The heartbroken 33-year-old star had earlier shared a photo of herself holding up a positive pregnancy test, revealing she had lost the pregnancy.In the lengthy caption, she bravely explained how she’d been nervous about keeping her pregnancy a secret during a Los Angeles concert that evening.Tragically, just hours later doctors told her that they could not find her baby’s heartbeat.The singer wrote: “Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying ‘seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant’.“By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down … After going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat.“This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know. What I do know is that I want to sing tonight. Not because Im avoiding the grief or the process, but because I know singing tonight will help me.”Jessie went on to explain her reason for wanting to go ahead with the concert, sharing: “I have done two shows in two years and my soul needs it. Even more today. I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it. But in this moment I have clarity on one thing. I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way.“I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did it’s best. I know myself and I know I would talk about it on stage because that’s who I am. So instead of a tearful emotional speech trying to explain my energy. This feels safer.”The star, who confirmed her split from boyfriend Max last month and previously dated Channing Tatum, added: “I decided to have a baby on my own. Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short. To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again.“I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be OK. I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t.“It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. So I will see you tonight LA. I may crack less jokes but my heart will be in the room.”This story originally appeared on The Sun and is republished here with permission.
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