Lady Gaga’s rape trauma: ‘I just froze’

OSTN Staff

Credited by her real name Stefani in the opening episode of the Apple TV+ series, Gaga is in tears as she recalls her attacker threatening to “burn all my music” if she didn’t remove all her clothes.“And they didn’t stop asking me and I just froze … and I don’t even remember. And I will not say his name,” said in the Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry docuseries.“I understand this #metoo movement, I understand that some people feel really comfortable with this and I do not … I do not want to face that person ever again.”Gaga shares she cut herself and would throw herself against walls to have injuries on the outside of her body to show the scars she hid inside.Almost a decade after her assault, she would suffer a full body breakdown which alternated between extreme pain and numbness and forced her to cancel her Joanne tour in 2018.She said the agony which gripped her body felt exactly the same as the pain she suffered during and after her sexual assault.During her time away from the stage, she worked extensively on learning how to “regulate” her behaviour and start to heal in the wake of her PTSD diagnosis.Some measures are as simple as opening her eyes and rolling her shoulders back to calm and centre her.“I always tell people, ‘Tell somebody, don’t show somebody.’ And the reason that I believe I’ve cut until very recently is the process of healing in my mental health has been a slow rise,” she said.“Even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad. And when I say feel bad, (I mean) wanna cut, think about dying, wonder if I’m ever going to do it.NED-3385 Meghan Markle Interview Quotes“I learnt all the ways to pull myself out of it. It all started to slowly change. It took two and a half years.”When asked what she did during those two and a half years she said: “I won an Oscar … nobody knew.”Gaga is a powerful voice in The Me You Can’t See docuseries for how to live with mental illness even as she stresses it is not like other diseases that can be diagnosed and then cured.She said she practises her “skills” to get through the day from showering, eating and exercising mindfully through to therapy, playing the piano and singing.“If I do enough of these skills in a row, if I keep going (saying) ‘Stefani, be brave, it’s brave to breathe, it’s braver to keep going’ and before I know it, I’m standing in my backyard and … I’m back,” she says.IF YOU NEED HELP PLEASE CALL:Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 (available 24/7)Text 0477 13 11 14Chat online: lifelife.org.au (7pm-midnight)Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800Kidshelpline.com.auBeyond Blue – 1300 224 636 (available 24/7)

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