Show’s funniest one-liner yet

OSTN Staff

It’s annual shareholder meeting time at Waystar Royco, which is just dandy timing for a company undergoing extreme pressure in the form of FBI raids, allegations of criminal wrongdoing and an all-out family war to boot.With Kendall determined to knock his dad Logan off the media empire throne and embark on a new generation of leadership with himself at the helm, the Roys are headed into the shareholder meeting weighing up whether to make a deal with Sandy and Stewie or to gamble and let it go to a vote.This is serious. As Geri puts it, Sandy wants Logan to “sit on a corkscrew and spin”. There’s no time for jokes. Decisions have to be made.“OK so we’re headed to a vote then. We’re climbing into the vote boat!” Tom says, as if he’s hopping on a rollercoaster at Disneyland. Roman isn’t too pleased about going to a vote, delivering one of his best one-liners yet. “Great let’s throw it open to the f***ing retired janitors of Idaho,” referencing the individual shareholders.Shiv panics. “We’re gonna lose the f***ing company today.”Watch Succession Season 3 on FOXTEL NOW. New customers get a 10-day free trial. Sign up at foxtel.com.auIn a rather swift about-face, Stewie calls Geri and says he wants to meet with Logan. He and Sandy have ideas for a settlement.“Why have they suddenly decided to settle?” Logan asks. “What do they know that we don’t know?”He sends Geri, Shiv, Roman and Karl to nut out the details.Sandy and Stewie put it to them that they’re willing to make a deal, and they list a few minor provisos that the Waystar crew are content with.It all seems too good to be true.Then the bomb gets dropped. Sandy wants to veto right over any Roy family member taking over as CEO. This will not fly with the Roy children, who all have their own ambitions to take over. Ain’t nepotism grand!They disagree to the stipulation and then both parties enlist their lawyers to take over and officially finalise a settlement.Meanwhile, Kendall pays cousin Greg a visit and effortlessly tells him that he’s going to burn him.“Is that OK?” Kendall asks, the same why I ask my partner if he can go fetch me Maltesers from Coles at 9pm. “It doesn’t sound … great?” Greg fumbles.“Here’s the thing, Dad strikes a deal today, it strengthens his position. Lisa says the DoJ [Department of Justice] is non committal about the case so I need to throw them red meat. It’s not much but it likely gives them Tom, maybe Bill. It builds the pressure then maybe someone flips on Dad,” Kendall argues. “Or you drop from the joint defence.”Two episodes ago, Greg organised to be covered under the legal joint defence of Waystar, which means he’s aligned with the Roys despite being Kendall’s right-hand man.After Kendall’s threat and in a bid to remain neutral, Greg asks his grandfather Ewan – Logan’s estranged brother – for money to get external legal advice. He gets the answer no child of a rich parent ever wants to get.He’s giving away all of his wealth to Greenpeace.“You are putting yourself in the service of a monstrous endeavour. You need to take yourself seriously kid,” Ewan tells him.Meanwhile, despite early celebrations from Shiv and co, Logan is unsure about taking Sandy and Stewie’s deal. As they’re drafting up the legalities, Geri gets a call from Sandy. They have one more proviso and it’s below the belt.“They want to take away the private jets,” Geri says. “Elitist and out of touch.”Roman squeals: “Not the PJs!” The juxtaposition between what I call PJs and what Roman calls PJs is astounding.A clearly unwell Logan, who has been disappearing to the toilet the entire episode, says a big fat “f**k ’em” to Sandy and Stewie. He doesn’t want the deal. They’re going to a vote.If they win without a deal, Tom says, “It’s one for the memoirs. It’s quite thrilling!” Again, looking like he’s hopping on the teacup ride at Disneyland.Logan suddenly takes a turn for the worst. He’s in agony trying to go to the toilet. It eventually emerges he’s been battling a UTI for some time now, and given his old age, he succumbs to the symptom of going bonkers.He thinks there’s a dead cat under his chair. He literally makes one of his staff members remove the imaginary cat, put it in a bag and run it out the door.And no one even blinks.This is all unfolding mere minutes before Logan is due to give a speech at the shareholder meeting. And he’s having hectic hallucinations.Wait a minute … Shiv realises he wasn’t in the right headspace to make the decision to tank the deal. She panics and runs to Sandy’s daughter, who is also named Sandy, to get the deal back on the table.She offers Sandy a seat on the board – a fourth seat – but adds Waystar will also need an extra one for balance. “For me,” Shiv says. They both like it, and the deal is back on.During his address at the meeting, Karl tells shareholders the company has struck a deal with Sandy and Stewie. And Kendall sees it as the perfect opportunity to bail up the stage.“I’d like to ask you all to join me in a moment of silence for all the victims of crimes that took place on our watch,” he says, before shooting off names of victims.Despite the hiccup, the Waystar camp is happy. They’ve maintained their foothold. Everyone that is, except for Logan, who despite feeling better healthwise is evidently not thrilled about making a deal with the devils.The episode closes with him blocking Kendall’s number, “permanently”. There’s something going on here, and only Logan knows what it is.Succession season 3 airs new episodes on Foxtel on MondaysFoxtel is majority owned by News Corp, publisher of this website

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